Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Some ReflectionsLast Thursday I went to the university website for students to check if the request for graduation had been processed or not. And it has! So I finally clicked that golden button "yes" for intention to graduate...
"You indicated earlier that you intend to graduate at the June 2006 Convocation."
YAYYY... it was soooo exciting n memorable, I was thinking of replaying it in my mind over n over again forever... so I'll remember what it's like forever... so the next time I think of going back to school, I'll be like "no no no... never again!"
I was so excited n happy... *sigh*
And then come the reflecting part... the fear and the anxiety and the worry... pretty much the negative emotions n self-doubt... "what if I don't make something out of myself?" "What if I don't get the job I want?" "what if I can't achieve my goals?" n so on n so forth
And then I talked to other ppl...and turns out we pretty much have the same worries n doubts... n then spoke to a middle-aged guy at work... n he said not to worry, that everyone will find their own path n stuff like that... nothin new, but it's comforting all the same
Then someone mentioned that a lot of people were actually thinking of going back to school or college... just because educational institutions are like a safety blanket... they feel safe knowing what they'll be doing the next day, they're busy with school work n stuff... they're happy to graduate, but they also don't want to graduate because they'll lose that security...
That's why survey shows that a lot more people are going to higher education, but only few actually graduated...
I don't like the idea of hiding behind educational institutions... because what are you gonna do when you're done all that? keep studying until u retire? no way! And... u'll be stuck with too much debt! Then how are you gonna feel good about life? u'll spend the rest of ur remaining years paying off debt... I ain't doin that... that's the main reason I keep my job while going to school... so I don't have any debt when I graduate... and I've achieved that goal... so I guess I'm a step ahead of the game... I'm at least $20,000 ahead of most people... Phew! So I guess I should feel better about myself...
So for now, I gotta get these 3 essays done so that I can party after that... well, not really... I have 3 final exams which won't be done until Dec 20... then what? Then I can work work n work... n have the freedom to do whatever I want n not worry about doing my readings or essays... yayyyyy...
But u know what's funny? I actually enjoy learning n reading THICK books if I know that no professors will test me on my knowledge and if I know that I'm doing it to add to my knowledge and not for the stupid GPA or grade... cuz I resent the fact that my GPA tells me how smart I am n shit... that's just bull! bunch of numbers... pfft! I know a lot of people who have low GPA's but they're super smart... anyways, enuff anger towards stupid educational institutions... that's just the way it is... n we gotta follow the rules of the game... or we'll lose
Soooooo... back to my boring life (the lack of life,I should say)... 2 more weeks!!! yayyyy!!! If any of you readers are worried about the same things I'm worried about... u're not alone... fight those negative thinking away... think positive n do something about it. And I wish us all the best...
si Monyet @ 11/23/2005 02:03:00 PM
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